Diabetes Awareness Month - Day 1: Struggle
Like anyone else, I struggle with a lot of things like weight, patience, and getting enough sleep at night. But, as a person with Type 1 Diabetes, I am privy to some struggles that are unique to other t1d's as well as myself. I struggle with headaches when my number is too low/high, or keeping my blood glucose in a 'normal' range. I struggle with anxiety, and I have control issues because those are things that I experience on a daily basis because of my disease. After thinking long and hard, I finally decided on a picture that I wanted to share for today...
This picture is simple; it's not complicated in the slightest and it pretty much summarizes one of the biggest struggles that I have as a person with diabetes. I struggle with high blood glucose numbers. This picture might be a bit of a exaggeration, but, it still represents the frustration I often feel. I have struggled with high blood glucose readings ever since I was diagnosed 19 years ago at the age of 7. I have more highs than lows. Now granted, at times, it was my own fault that my numbers weren't better. I went through several years around, and immediately, following college where I just didn't care anymore and I refused to check my blood. I still dosed with insulin for the carbs that I was eating (or dosed for my best carb guess) but I wouldn't check; sometimes I would go weeks without one single finger stick. Looking back now, I cringe at the thought. I'm extremely lucky that I'm here today! I sometimes still can't believe I was so careless and cavalier with my life.
As many of you know, when it comes to what affects a diabetic's blood glucose, the sky's the limit. Personally, sometimes I feel like every little thing sends my blood glucose skyrocketing: stress, sickness, lack of sleep, too much sleep, food, coffee, the list goes on and on. It's a constant balancing act of changing the settings on my insulin pump to give me certain doses at certain times in order to, hopefully, stabilize the dosage at just the right time. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Unfortunately, as any other T1D will tell you, even if you do everything right your blood sugar will still fluctuate on a daily basis and there's not much you can do about it.
Lately, I've really tried to eat better, and exercise more (it's a work in progress, more on that later this month!) and although it's been hard at times to fight against my couch-potato-tendencies, it's definitely been working. I've lost around 15lbs since the beginning of the year, my blood sugar numbers are much better than they used to be (and so is my A1C!) I am continuing to try to take better care of myself, not only as a person, but also as a diabetic.